Emotional Roller Coaster

The wheels have hit the ground full speed, and boy it's been a harder adjustment than I ever predicted. During a 5 month period I've gone through 3 different stages: the Honeymoon, the Irritable and the Break Down stages. This is something I had never dealt with before, but I've been told by several seasoned FS spouses that what I have been experiencing is totally "normal", and that these stages will be revisited every time we are at a new post.

The "Honeymoon" stage was when we first moved to DC and everything was so exciting. A new job for my husband, living in a gorgeous city with tons of things to do: museums, restaurants, theatre, nightlife, shopping, etc...I felt like a kid in a candy shoppe. I was out and about almost everyday exploring and getting to know the area.

A couple months after, the "Irritability/Frustration" settled in. Mind you, Billy and I have always been glued to the hip. When he was in law enforcement he had the occasional 2-4 day training and once in a blue moon he would be asked to travel. Now fully trained and ready to start his new assignment, and as predicted, Billy is starting to travel a lot. Even though we make decisions together, and this 2 year assignment is something we talked about and agreed upon, I was not as prepared as I thought. The adjustment may have been easier if he chose to work out of a field office. Instead we chose a different route. A route that involves a 2 year assignment and requires him to travel at minimum 50% of the time. Once he finished training for DS as well as in his specialized field, it felt as if Billy was all of a sudden gone. Then reality set in, here I was in a new city with little to no friends, while my husband was off having a life, traveling the world, making contacts, and loving his new job.

I started feeling a bit jealous and sorry for myself, and although self-diagnosed, I believe I fell into a small state of depression. I would literally break down in tears from time to time, and I felt very isolated and angry. Why was I in this new city, with no friends while my husband traveled? Why did I give up my job, my friends, our house in Beaufort to come and live alone half of the time? Why did I miss him so much? Why did I feel so co-dependent? All these questions and emotions ran through my head. So, needless to say, this was my "Break Down" stage.

I was not made aware of these stages until I attended a seminar by a retired DS spouse on Cultural Adjustment of the Foreign Service. I felt like this meeting couldn't have come at a better time for me. It was so helpful and it opened my eyes to what an unique but challenging lifestyle the Foreign Service is. Moving from country to country every 2 years has its allure, but uprooting so frequently can take its toll. This meeting also made me realize that our spouses are sometimes just as stressed, scared, worried as we are. They just express it in different ways. After all, Billy may be traveling to beautiful countries quite often, but then again, he is working, and working long hours at that. Long flights, jet lag, hotel after hotel, meals on the go, all is taxing on a body. I know he misses his home. I know he misses us.

In the meantime, I am discovering that this new life is making me stronger. I am experiencing new sides of my inner self had I not been put into this current situation. The world has a way of preparing us for what's to come, and I feel that is what is happening to me. I am grateful for my close friends and family who continue to be a leaning shoulder for me. Most important, I am thankful for my loving husband, who even though far away at times, always makes our relationship top priority. Now a days, I am having to learn to literally just take one day at a time and live in the moment.

Graduation Day

After 7 months of training, studying and taking tests, Billy’s big day arrived on Tuesday, September 28th in the Benjamin Franklin Room at the US State Department. He and his fellow colleagues graduated and received their credentials.

We were thankful to have been able to share the special day with his mom, two sisters, nephew and our good friend Eileen. When the director called Billy’s name up to the stage, I couldn’t help but feel proud of all my husband’s accomplishments. A quick flash back of when we first started dating came to mind. We met at Sea World when we were 17 and during our lunch breaks we would have long chats about what we wanted from life, relationships, and about the future. Now here we are. We’re finally seeing our hard work and accomplishments unfold before our very eyes, and that is truly a gratifying feeling.

We’ll be posted in DC for the next 2 years. Billy has been selected to a very important assignment, which will require alot of travel time. When he’s home our time together will be extra special, and once he begins to accumulate some comp time, we hope to extend some of his travels overseas, so I can accompany him from time to time.

Now begins a new journey for me as well. The world is my oyster. What’s my calling? There are so many various directions and paths to consider. We’ll see what unravels.

Fiesta Mexicana at the Kennedy Center

Last night Billy and I had a wonderful time at the Kennedy Center. They hosted a Fiesta Mexicana to celebrate Mexico's Bicentennial Independence Day. Contrary to popular belief, Cinco de Mayo is not the celebration of Mexico's Independence Day. The El Grito de la Indepedencia (Cry of Independence) is held annually on Sept. 16th in honor of Mexico's Independence from the Spanish rule in 1810.

We had read about this event a few days prior, and got excited to see that the headliner band was Ozomatli, an urban Latino band from Los Angeles, which we've been following for quite a few years now. Their music is full of energy...a little salsa, hip hop, merengue, cumbia, samba and funk. The stage was set up on the the side of the Kennedy Center, and the place was packed. Best of all, this concert was completely free. That's one of the things I love about DC; there's always free events. Anyway, dancing outside in the dark with a group of people, over looking the Potomac River couldn't have made for a better Wednesday evening.

Arlington is "home" for now

I have only been away from Beaufort a little over two months, yet it seems much longer. So much has happened over the last few months that once we unpacked and got settled into our apartment it took me a couple of weeks to decompress and take it all in. It still seems surreal that we’re actually living in Arlington. Our apartment is feeling more and more like a home. Yes, it’s small, but it meets all our needs. I do miss having a house with a guest room and a yard for Dante “Dewey” to run around in, but in the grand scheme of things I don’t have room to complain.

Lately, I have been enjoying staying at home and playing tourist in my own town. How could I not be? There’s so much to do and see. I plan to keep the fire burning inside of me. I am always curious and I love to explore. No matter if I am in the finest city in the world, or the poorest little town in Brazil, I will take the time to step out of my comfort zone, venture out and learn about my surroundings and meet new people.

Once I finally get used to the idea of calling Arlington “ home “it will be time to move again. It’s just a known fact about the Foreign Service, you don’t stay somewhere for too long. Moving will become a part of our lives. Right now, there are many changes happening in our lives. There has been so much new information thrown our direction that most of the time I feel like a little fish in a big ocean of possibilities; mostly positive, but some negative too. In the meantime, I’m learning to embrace the chaos, be flexible, and to just throw myself into this new lifestyle.

Yippppeeee!!! Lease signed!!!

We're still in Winchester, Va, but we signed a lease for an apt in Arlington, Va. After the initial shock of the monthly rent subsided, we felt excited to have a place to call home. We get our keys on the 31st of this month.

Our apartment is small (1bd, 1ba), we decided to go with less space so we could live in a great location. We're only 5 miles from DC, 2 miles from the Pentagon, and only minutes away from Old Town Alexandria. Besides all the great amenities, there are endless amounts of shops and restaurants, all within walking distance. The complex has a dog park, and a bike trail (30+ miles long) literally across the street from us. I can't wait to begin decorating.

Homeless, but "not" really

We're now officially homeless. After packing out, Billy's sister took pity on me and Dante and let us stay with her for 10 days until Billy finished with training in Georgia. My last few days in Beaufort were very special. I was able to spend quality time with close friends and family, go to my favorite restaurants and coffee shops, enjoy the water and the beautiful Beaufort scenery. It's funny how we start falling in love with an area all over again right before we leave.

We started our journey towards the Northern Virginia area on Independence Day. Billy didn't have to report to work/training until Tuesday so we decided to take our time, enjoy the scenery and break up the trip into 2 days. The drive up I81 was gorgeous. It's definitely farm country...lots of rolling hills with cute little towns tucked away in between the mountains.

We stayed over night in the quaint little town of Lexington, Va. We'd never heard of it before, but when we drove through the town to look for a hotel, we were pleasantly surprised. Not only is this the coolest small town with it's French feel and little boutiques, but it has 2 prestigious schools: Washington and Lee University and Virginia Military Institute (oldest state supported military college in the US). Once we got settled in, we toured around, had dinner and watched the fireworks display that the university puts on every year. The following day, we treated ourselves to a nice breakfast and promised each other that in the near future, we'd be back to explore the area a little more.

We're now living out of a hotel in Winchester, Va until the first week of August. Our hotel room is nice and spacious, it even has a kitchenette. We're right outside of the Shenandoah National Park and there are tons of Civil War battlefields to explore. We're surrounded by different ethnic restaurants so we've been spoiling ourselves with various cuisine from around the world. A few days ago, me and a friend went and ventured to the nearby town of Front Royal. It's yet another small town with tons of great antique shops.

Even though we're sort of homeless, and I miss my home, friends and family; being next to my husband is priceless. Plus, we're surrounded by new friends who are sharing similar experiences and that makes this transition a little easier.

"Pack Out"

"Pack Out" was on Thursday, June 24th. The movers pulled up to the house around 9:30 am, accessed everything that needed to be packed, and within 3.5hrs our belongings were in boxes and in the moving truck, on it's way to be stored somewhere in Maryland until further notice.

Once the house was bare and empty I felt mixed emotions of sadness and happiness. Memories started coming back to when we first stepped inside and fell in love with our home. Billy and I had lived in several places, but had always rented. This house was different because we bought it after many years of hard work. It was special because it truly was "our" home.

When we first learned that Billy had been hired with the Dept. of State, we decided to put our house up for sale. After several months of it being on the market and no bites, we let the contract expire and listed it as a rental. I believe things happen for a reason. Just maybe our first home still wants to remain a part of our lives for a little longer.

Still in Beaufort...

It's not a bad thing, but we're still in Beaufort. We've had to lower our listing price on our house in hopes to get more lookers and potentially a buyer.

Billy is half way done with his training in Georgia. He's been able to come home every weekend, and for that I'm grateful.

Every Friday, I get butterflies in my stomach and rush down to pick him up with Dante "Dewey". My side kick, Dante, loves to tag along. By now, he knows Friday is the day we go pick up daddy. Usually when we get to the training facility, Billy is waiting outside of the gates with his little suitcase and a bag of dirty laundry. He prefers doing laundry at home, he says, his clothes smell better. Before, we begin our drive back to Beaufort, we stop at Starbucks for some coffee and munchies. We're back home in no time because we've been busy chatting and catching up.

Our weekend consists of hanging out 24/7. Occasionally, we hang out with family or friends, but mainly we're selfish and spend every waking moment together. We've been taking the time to enjoy Beaufort as much as we can, and that's been refreshing. Beaufort was the stepping stone to Billy's new career. My goals of acquiring a massage therapy license and having my own business were achieved here. Our wonderful friends and Billy's family reside here. We bought our first home, and we adopted our dog "Dewey" here. Beaufort has been good to us. When the time comes to say, "sayonara", it'll be a little tough.

Back in Beaufort

It's almost been a week since I've been back home. Billy had to stay in DC for an extra week, but he'll be home this weekend. WOOHOO!!! I am looking forward to seeing and spending time with him. This first week without him has been a little tough, but I've kept myself busy. I miss his presence and company, but I am a strong resilient woman, so I will get through it. Thankfully, I still have my massage therapy practice to focus on, and my clients always bring me great joy. I also have wonderful friends and family, who often call to check up on me, and invite me to do things. I am fortunate to have such special people in my life.

After this weekend, Billy will have 3 months of federal law enforcement training, and wonderful for us, he will be able to come home on the weekends. While he's busy studying, training, and taking exams during the week, my mission is to get our beautiful house sold. We've hired an excellent real estate agent, who will be helping us with this process. We are hoping our house will sell before June/July, so I can accompany Billy back to DC, where we'll be living for a couple of years. So...send us some good energy and keep your fingers crossed for us.

Woodley Park-Zoo Metro

What a gorgeous day we had. It couldn't have been a more perfect day for the Zoo. My friends and I got up early and headed for the metro. I love taking the metro. It's so convenient and stress free because there's no dealing with DC traffic, or parking. Plus, I enjoy people watching. I am always a little curious about every one's life. Who are they? What do they do? Where are they going? Where are they from? I think it would make an interesting book. Hmmmmm???

"Flag Day"

Today was "Flag Day" - the day that Foreign Service Specialists are given the flag of their assigned country. Out of the 6 bids we placed, we were granted our first choice: We're going to DC!!!

Not only did we get DC, but Billy was the class speaker in today's graduation ceremony. Out of several specialists, Billy was selected to give a speech. A few days ago, Billy had been advised by the course coordinators that he'd been selected as class speaker, but it was kept a secret from the specialists until today. In front of ambassadors, the dean of FSI, CDO's, GSO's and his colleagues, he gave an amazing speech.

Note: He'd never mention his being selected to speak because he doesn't like to boast, but I'm very proud of him. You da bomb...baby!!!

There's a big celebration tonight at "Irelands Four Fields" an Irish pub in Cleveland Park. We're gearing up to have a fantastic evening...DC style.

Week 2 in DC

Since my last posting, I've been to China Town, 3 Smithsonian's (National, Modern Art and Natural History Museums) and my all time favorite the Washington National Cathedral. I love the cathedral because of the Gothic-style architecture, and how it functions as a house of worship for all faiths.

Note: The best things in DC are free, including entrance to most museums, the Smithsonian National Zoo, tours of monuments and memorials, and my all time favorite place, the National Cathedral.


I've spent time with friends who live in the area as well as hung out with new friends I have met at Oakwoods. I've even found a wonderful veterinarian because Dante contracted a very bad yeast infection (poor baby). "Flag Day" is next Tuesday, so I've also been exploring the different neighborhoods just in case we are posted in DC.

Everyday is a new day, and my emotions constantly fluctuate. I realize my life will drastically change soon. For over 15 years, Billy and I have always spent every waking moment together. We are not only husband and wife, but best friends, and we enjoy each others company. He has a lengthy year of training and will be traveling a lot. I am excited about this new journey, but I realize it will be an adjustment for the both of us. I've always been very independent, but now more than ever, a side from Billy's support, I welcome the support of my friends and family.

Old Town Alexandria

Today, I got in my car and decided to go tour Old Town Alexandria. The weather was perfect; 66 and not a cloud in the sky. When I arrived in Old Town it reminded me of King Street in Charleston, or La Jolla in California. For the Virginians, it's their version of Georgetown. There are blocks and blocks of elegant, tree lined streets, historic houses, boutiques, spas, art galleries, pastry shops, restaurants, hotels and cafes. I love sweets, so I was excited to see several French pastry/coffee and chocolate shops. During the remainder of my stay, I will definitely make a few more trips to Old Town Alexandria.

The Bid List

The available posts are: DC, NYC, Chicago, Miami, Houston, LA.
We have 2-days to decide the order of our bid list (favorite-least favorite city). At the end of orientation (2.5 weeks) we'll know during "Flag Day" where our first post will be. "Flag Day" is when the specialists are given the flag of where he/she will be posted. We're hoping for Washington DC, Los Angeles or New York City. Keep your fingers crossed!

Spouse/Partner Orientation at FSI

The Foreign Service (FS) Specialist Spouse/Partner Orientation was held yesterday from 8-5 pm. Billy and I woke up early and decided to take the shuttle from the apartment to the Foreign Service Institute (FSI). Before arriving my image of FSI was a 3-5 story brick building, but boy was I wrong. It's a huge training campus with several buildings, library, cafeteria, visitor and child care center. This is truly a college campus for the Foreign Service Agents as well as for other agencies who have a need for knowledge of foreign languages, cultures, or international affairs.

"FSI offers both online and traditional classroom sessions to the Department of State and to employees from over 60 other government entities in the executive, judicial, and legislative branches of government. FSI provides both mentored and self-paced distance learning products developed by FSI." USALearning Webpage

We arrived at the Visitor Center and there was a "Welcome" get together for the specialists and their spouses/partners. After socializing and sipping coffee for 30mins, the spouses/partners were escorted to the classroom. I knew we were off to a good start when the FSI Transition Center Coordinator introduced herself and said, "what I first would like you to do is breatheeeee". I took comfort in knowing that she understood how overwhelmed and anxious we are to begin this new chapter of our lives.

Through out the day several senior specialists spoke to our class. A few of the specialists were women who had started out as a Foreign Service Spouse (FSS) and now are FSO's, which made it even more interesting and insightful. A list of acronyms (which I'm slowly memorizing) were handed out, power point presentations, and casual talks about living overseas, service for family members, the ups and downs of diplomatic life as well as breaks and an hour lunch consumed our day.

At the end of the day, I walked away very impressed on how the Foreign Service includes the spouse/partner, and how they go out of their way to make this new "lifestyle" transition as smooth as possible for us.

"Meet and Greet"

Lots of socializing today. "Sunday Brunch" for all the specialists and spouses/partners staying at our apartment complex. We then headed to "Eden Center" a premier Asian center containing approximately 120 stores and is located right behind our apartment complex. This place is fantastic...besides all the stores there are many places to eat. We went with another agent and his wife, who are Korean. They just returned from a vacation in Vietnam, so it was perfect. We ate at a "hole in the wall" restaurant, where none of the wait staff spoke a lick of English. Communication on our part was done non-verbally just with hand gestures and pointing. Man the food was good and fresh, fresh, fresh! Who knew we would be in little Saigon in Falls Church, VA?

For dinner, we went to a "Meet and Greet" at Rock Bottom Cafe in Balston, Va. The energy in that room was so positive. Specialists, spouses, kids, and dogs (ha,ha) had been waiting for so long for this day to arrive, and it's finally here. Each and everyone of the FSO's as well as the spouses/partners have a unique story and come from different backgrounds, but we now are, all in the same boat working together for the same purpose.

Oakwood Apartments

The drive from South Carolina was a breeze until we hit DC traffic on Saturday. What's up with that??? It's Saturday people! It took us 30-45 mins from the I-95 exit to drive 7 miles to our apartment complex. I feel a little out of my element and slightly overwhelmed. DC is a big city and we've been sheltered from the "big city" lifestyle for over 10 years. Poor Dante hasn't seen so many cars in his life. He keeps pacing back and forth and watching our every move. The complex placed us on the 6th floor, so we can't just walk outside and let Dante go pee. We have to walk down a long hallway, enter the elevator, through the lobby, pass the parking lot before we see a small patch of grass. This morning at 7 am Dante wakes me up, I drag myself out of bed, change, begin the process of getting him to that little patch of grass, enter the lobby, open the door, and it's raining. Of course, I had no umbrella. We walked for a brief 1-2 min span, and back into the building we went. Not so fun...but definitely insightful because after 1 day of this, I realize wherever we get posted apartment living may not be an option.

A New Beginning

At first, the thought of having my own blog seemed silly and pretentious, but then again not everyone is married to some one in the foreign service, and will be relocating to different parts of the world every 2 years. So, why not share with our friends and family the new experiences and adventures we are about to embark on?
Our journey into the Federal Government starts Friday, March 12th when we drive to Washington DC for my husband's 3 weeks of orientation which begins Monday, March 15th. Billy, has worked all of his life to get to this position and I am very proud of his perseverance. 2010 will be an intense year of training for him. For me, it's an exciting time to accompany my best friend and husband in this new chapter of our lives.